Rabbi Ari Shvat
Question
Hi, B’H I have been married for a few months already and I married a boy from a very frum family, everyone in the house is wonderful; there is just one problem, sometimes, they speak a lot of lashon hara. I dont know what am I allowed to do in that case. I just seat quitely and usualy dont comment or anything, (unless my mother in law asks my opinion or looks directly at me while speaking then I nod), I sometimes even try to not listen but usually I do listen and even though I try to take away everything I listen from my head, sometimes it gets in my mind and when I see the person I just think of what I heard. I dont want to tell my husband about this because I dont want to hurt him or hurt the relationship between me and his family, which B’H is very good but I dont want to be there listening to things I shouldnt listen anymore; and abviously I cant say anything to my mother inlaw or my sisters in law and I go to her house very often (at least once a week). What does the halacha says in this case?
Answer
Shalom, A very good and practical solution to this common problem, is that when you hear the "unavoidable" lashon hara- think how you can give that person the benefit of the doubt. For example, if they say that Re'uven is stupid, think to yourself: "What a shame that he was born without much intelligence- but it's not his fault". With Love of Israel, Rav Ari Shvat
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