Your answer was basically "we cant expect to understand God". You compared that to the fact that sometimes you dont understand your spouse or even yourself. This is a valid point. HOWEVER, you must have enough understanding of your spouse to have a good relationship, otherwise you would get divorced. You must have a good enough understanding of yourself to be able to function, otherwise you would jump off the roof. If a person can have enough understanding of God to be able to have a functional relationship with him, then the rest can be stuffed into the "I dont understand" drawer. But the closer a Holocaust is to a person, the larger the question will look in their consciousness and the more it will affect their relationship with Hashem. And that is valid. Relationships by definition are subjective. Despite being a descendant of Holocaust survivors, as a child this question never bothered me. However, as I became an adult, my life turned into a Holocaust. It has been going on for about twenty years. To me the worst part is that I turned to Hashem with tfila and bitachon and he rejected all that and continues to torture me. At this point I have zero understanding of Hashem. Our relationship is defined by abuse ans ignoring everything I say and think and do. I cannot have a relationship characterized by abusing me and ignoring me. I cant. How does your model fit that kind of experience?

I'm sorry but you oversimplified my complex answer, which I suggest you re-read to benefit from the main points. True, one of the points is that we don't understand many things in life, but there are several other, even more important points. We definitely do (!) have enough points of understanding in our national (3,700 year old) and personal relationship with God to love, appreciate, thank and want to emulate Him, and not to "jump off the roof". I agree and see that in my wife's family- where most were murdered in the Holocaust, the relationship to that monstrous event is different than in my family which was already in America. You're right that all relationships, including with God, are really subjective, but unfortunately only a local rabbi, with whom you can sit and analyze at length what you are going through, can help you see and appreciate the good in your life. You feel that He hasn't answered your prayers, but to say that He abuses you is surely inaccurate. What I can say is that your Emunah that everything comes from Hashem is admirable and very strong, and maybe even "too strong", for there are probably many wrongs and what you call "tortures", that you really should attribute to people and maybe even to yourself, before thinking that He always has to intervene and miraculously change everyone's free-will (Rambam, Guide for Perplexed 3, 12). You and we all definitely would not want a world without free-will. Noone could love a god or father who is constantly "torturing" him, so again, you should definitely not ignore your problematic and counterproductive feelings towards Hashem, by sitting down at length with a local rabbi, who will surely help you realize the many blessings which you, and we all have. As a first stage, just think: would you really prefer to trade places with your parents or grandparent who were in the Holocaust? Would you prefer to live in a world without cars, electricity, computers and smartphones? A world with slavery (would you want to be a slave?), racism, imperialism, chauvinism, or the Black/Bubonic Plague? Would you like to live in Soviet Russia? Look around and you will notice that everyone has challenges, and that's what life is about: destining our fate. The Ramban (Breishit 22) writes that Hashem only gives challenges to each of us, which we personally can not only withstand, but also grow from. May Hashem grant you and all of us the wisdom to do so, and to appreciate all that He gives us, when we say Modeh Ani.