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According to Ashkenazic custom, each member of a household must light his own candles in order to fulfill the custom of mehadrin min ha-mehadrin. That is, on the first night everyone lights one candle and on the eighth night everyone lights eight. We are not concerned that onlookers will not know how many candles are being lit on any given night, because we are careful to separate between the various menoras.1
Children who have reached the age of education – approximately the age of six, when they begin to understand the story of the miracle and the mitzva to light candles – light with a berakha.
The prevalent custom among married women is not to light Ĥanuka candles, because their husbands’ lighting it is considered like theirs, "one’s wife is like himself." In many homes, young women and girls who have reached the age of education also do not light. Nevertheless, they may light with a berakha if they wish. It seems better to encourage young girls who have reached the age of education to light candles, at least until they become bat mitzva, as lighting Ĥanuka candles connects them to Torah and mitzvot. If they wish to continue lighting afterward, they should be commended. Even a woman whose husband lights candles may light her own candles, with a berakha, if she wishes, despite the custom to refrain from doing so.2

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