articles on Pathways in Personality Development
Stress Test
for most of us, life and its petty annoyances, problems large and small and constant stress tests.
Love and Devotion to God
One who loves God cannot bear the desecration of His name
Conceit and Divine Service
God said to Israel: I treasure you, for even as I bestow greatness upon you, you humble yourselves before me
The Spirit Always Prevails
in truth, it is the spirit that always triumphs.
series on Pathways in Personality Development
Fear of Sin - Punishment and Loftiness
Ideally, a person should distance himself from sin due to God's loftiness. How can man, God's own handiwork, even consider acting in opposition to the will of his Creator? Such fear, fear of God's loftiness, befits wise and enlightened individuals.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | 5762
Fear of Sin - Punishment and Loftiness
Ideally, a person should distance himself from sin due to God's loftiness. How can man, God's own handiwork, even consider acting in opposition to the will of his Creator? Such fear, fear of God's loftiness, befits wise and enlightened individuals.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | Tuesday, 14 Elul 5767
51. Sanctity
Sanctity is the highest rung on the ladder of desired character traits: Torah leads to caution, caution to alacrity, alacrity to cleanliness, cleanliness to abstinence, abstinence to purity, purity to piety, piety to humility, to fear of sin, to sanctity.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | Monday, 8 Menachem Av 5767
49. The Components of Humility
A person should hate possessing authority but not avoid positions of authority. One should accept such positions with a desire to serve the public, not to control the public. Hence the sages tell us to “love labor and hate authority.”
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | Sivan 5762
48. Acquiring Humility
Acquiring humility is one of the peaks in the development of a person's personality, for it covers all aspects of an individual's behavior. If one truly wishes to acquire humility, he must train himself to speak humbly, walk humbly, and sit humbly.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
47. The Distinction of Humility
The more talent and capacity a humble person possesses, the more humble he becomes. For example, Moses, the greatest of the great, was also the humblest of the humble: "And the man Moses was more humble than any other person on the face of the earth".
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
46. Humble and Happy
It is important to realize that a humble person is not miserable and unhappy. Neither is a conceited person happy and blissful. To the contrary, it is humility that brings happiness and bliss, while pride leads a person to misery and discontent.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
45. Conceit and Divine Service
God said to Israel: I treasure you, for even as I bestow greatness upon you, you humble yourselves before me. Abraham said, "I am but earth and dust." Moses and Aaron said "What are we worth?" And King David said "I am not a man - I am but a worm."
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
44. Tales of the Sages
Reading stories about the virtuous deeds of great rabbis is a most effective way to nurture desirable character traits. Parents who wish to instill in their children a love for the Torah should give them books on the lives of the sages of Israel.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | Adar 5676
43. Cautiously Stringent
Pious individuals follow the more stringent rulings and sway clear of all doubt. However, it is precisely here that a truly pious person must be on guard. He must be careful that his stringent practices do not lead him to belittle the lenient rabbis.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | Adar 5676
42. Fitting Admonition
When it comes to pious additions to the commandments, practices which are likely to cause ordinary people to laugh, and thus transgress, it is certainly more proper and pious to refrain from them altogether, for these practices are not obligatory.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | Adar 5676
41. Not Overly Pious
: Pious behavior can be misleading. Though a certain act may appear virtuous at first glance, its ramifications may really be very undesirable. A person must weigh his actions carefully – not to be overly pious, yet not to refrain from piety altogether.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
40. The Lofty Service of the Pious
True, the behavior of a pious person is thoroughly virtuous and refined, yet his real greatness lies in the fact that his intentions are entirely altruistic; a pious person is concerned with the welfare of the whole generation, the entire nation.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | Shvat 5767
39. For the Sake of God's Honor
While performing any religious act a person must intend to bring pleasure and honor to God. He must pray for Israel's redemption and the restoration of the Holy Temple, for these matters bring pleasure to God and vest him with the most supreme honor.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | Shvat 5767
38. Love and Devotion to God
One who loves God cannot bear the desecration of His name, as Solomon says (Proverbs 28:7), "The deserters of Torah will praise the wicked and the observers of Torah will rebuke them," and David says (Psalms 97:10), "Those who love God hate evil."
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | 5762
37. Piety and the Love of God
One who truly loves the Almighty knows how to accept hardships lovingly, with an understanding that everything God does is for the best, even hardships. Not only are they for his own good, they constitute a reason for loving the Almighty even more.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | 5762
21. The Dangers of Pride
Just as “cleanliness” must reside in deeds, so must it reside in traits. The work involved in changing one's traits is more difficult than that involved in changing one's deeds. This is because changing traits means doing battle with one's own nature.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
6. "Zerizut" - Its Practical Application
Part six of "Pathways in Character Development" Every mitzvah which presents itself must be carried out immediately. "When a mitzvah presents itself," say the sages, "don't put it off."
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | Av 5761
7. Starting and Maintaining "Zerizut"
It is possible to change and it is possible to overcome weaknesses. It is possible to develop the quality of "zerizut" and to overcome the tendency to laziness.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | Tishrey 5762
1. The Quality of "Zehirut" - that Man Contemplate His Actions
Part One of "Pathways in Personality Development" When man lacks awareness of his behavior, he is like a blind man walking on the edge of the river, whose danger is no doubt great and whose demise is certainly closer than his deliverance.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | Sivan 5761
5. Overcoming Weaknesses
Part five of "Pathways in Character Development" Be bold as a leopard, light as an eagle, swift as a deer, and strong as a lion, to do the will of your Father in heaven.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | Av 5761
19. Revenge and Grudge-bearing
Man is called upon to overcome his natural desire to take revenge. He must overlook the offense and refrain from retaliating when the opportunity to do so presents itself. Not only should one not take revenge, one should not even hold a grudge.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
20. Distance Yourself from Falsehood
“Distance yourself from that which is false.” This implies that not only should a person avoid outright and deliberate lies, he must distance himself from any semblance of falsehood. That is, a person must be even avoid giving a wrong impression.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
14. Caution Regarding Sexual Immorality
Part Fourteen of "Pathways in Character Development" In order to be completely free from sexually immoral impulses one must work very hard. Yet, the more a person advances in cleansing himself of them, the more he frees himself from their enslavement.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | Kislev 5762
9. Overcoming Fear
Part Nine of "Pathways in Character Development" When a person frees himself of exaggerated fears and fills himself with a healthy sense of confidence, he is saved from one of the sources of laziness.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | Heshvan 5762
18. Slander, Defamation, and Tale-bearing
Tale-bearers and slanderers cause tension and controversy. They claim to have pure intentions, and that they only wish to warn and reprimand people. However, the true nature of their remarks can be discerned in what ultimately results from them.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
24. Jealousy
Jealousy sows destruction. But a person who has faith does not become jealous. Such a person knows that everything comes from God, that the Creator gives every person exactly what he ought to have. He understands that everything is for the best.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
23. Anger
A short-tempered person tends to justify his own actions and to blame others. A person must learn how to stop and ask forgiveness, to admit having been wrong, and to appease those who have been offended. “Be slow to anger and easy to appease.”
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
28. Types of Pious Abstinence
“Who is the truly valorous individual? The one who conquers his base instincts.” Pious abstinence consists of three main ingredients: abstinence in the realm of pleasures, abstinence in the realm of laws, and abstinence in the realm of conduct.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | 5752
22. Pride and Humility
One should not think that pride brings a person confidence and happiness, while humility causes a sense of meekness and sorrow. This is not true. In fact, the opposite is true. It is humility that brings true happiness, while pride brings sorrow.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
34. Lovingkindness
Kindness is greater than charity in three ways: Charity is performed with one's wealth, and kindness with one's body; charity is given to the poor, kindness to the rich as well; charity is given to the living, lovingkindness to the dead as well.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
13. Theft in the Work Place and in General
Part Thirteen of "Pathways in Character Development" It is not enough that one refuses to steal time and money from others, the mere thought of such behavior ought to strike one as repulsive.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | Kislev 5762
35. Fear of God's Exalted Nature
Fear and love of God are the two pillars of true divine service without which it is impossible to truly serve God. The chief aspect of the fear of God is the fear of His exalted nature, and this implies fear based upon admiration and adoration.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
11. Clarifying "Nekiyut"
Part Eleven of "Pathways in Character Development" One who has internalized the quality of "Nekiyut" has developed the capacity of fine discernment, and therefore distances himself from anything even slightly resembling sin.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | Kislev 5762
27. Abstinence and Permissible Pleasures (Cont.)
There are rules of legal conduct and there are rules of pious conduct. A person who is fit for such is called upon to adopt pious conduct. Pious abstinence is not for everybody, but those who are able to behave in such a manner uplift everybody else.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | 5752
2. Introspection
Part Two of "Pathways in Personality Development" One who wishes to strengthen his personality and to develop the components of his character must begin by becoming acquainted with himself through his actions.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | tamuz 5761
32. The Root of the Trait of Piety
If a pious person sees that his fellow stands to suffer some kind of loss and he has the power to prevent it, he goes out of his way to do so. It goes without saying that he himself is most careful not to do anything that will incur loss to another.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | 5752
4. The Impact of Man's Actions on the World
Part four of Pathways in Character Development If man were aware of the significance of his actions and his speech he would weigh each and every act before carrying it out, and would check and examine each and every word before emitting it from his mouth.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | tamuz 5761
15. Forbidden Foods
Part Fifteen of "Pathways in Character Development" Just as one must be careful not to eat poison or substances which contain dangerous toxins, so too must one distance himself from forbidden foods, for they are poison for the soul.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | Kislev 5762
