- Family and Society
- The Mitzva of Having Children
2243
Question
Dear Rabbi,
We are a jewish couple (aged 32) blessed with a boy around 3years old. Also to mention that we both are working. I was actually quite content with just one kid, until I started taking interest in Torah Studies, whereupon I have always heard that a jewish couple should atleast have 2 kids (preferably a boy and a girl).
In accordance to this, I strongly wish to have a second baby but my wife does not concur with my thoughts as she thinks its a big hassle. In reality she too would like a second kid, but doesnt want to undergo all the troubles of pregnancy, child care etc.
Any advice? Thanks in advance.
Answer
The mitzva requires you to try to have both a boy and a girl. Even if persuading your wife of the benefits of having another child and how they outweigh the costs of child care etc.is difficult, keep up the dialogue- with love and consideration for her. See what you can take on yourself so that the hassle is lessened. If you and your wife are unsuccessful in reaching an agreement that conforms to the halacha- you might consider consulting a local rabbi whose opinion she respects or, if the problem is not a halachic one- a marriage counselor

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