The Mitzva of Onah | Rabbi Eliezer Melamed | Beit Midrash

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1. The Virtue of the Mitzva
A complete person is one who lives in love and happiness with his spouse, for a man is not whole without his wife and a woman is not whole without her husband. The essence of their union is realized in the mitzva of onah, marital relations. By fulfilling this mitzva, husband and wife totally unite, spiritually and physically, thereby rendering their marriage complete. The mitzva must be performed passionately and mutually gratifying, at a time when the man sincerely desires to please and satisfy his wife as much as possible and when the woman wholeheartedly wants to satisfy and please her husband as much as she can (see below chapter 2, sections1–5). Hence, this mitzva is called simĥat onah, the joy of martial relations, since there is no greater happiness in this world, and it resembles the euphoria of the World to Come (see below 1:7–8).
The framework of marriage facilitates the fulfillment of the command, "Love your fellow Jew as yourself" (Vayikra 19:18) in its entirety. About these words R. Akiva said, "This is an invaluable Torah teaching" (Sifra ad loc.) Only between husband and wife does love exist so comprehensively, encompassing all realms of life, spiritual and physical. Therefore, when husband and wife live together devotedly, loving each other no less than they love themselves, wanting to satisfy the other no less than they want to satisfy themselves, they essentially fulfill the whole Torah (Arizal, Sefer Ha-likutim, Parashat Ekev).
So great is the mitzva of onah that its fulfillment causes the Shekhina to dwell among the couple, as R. Akiva extrapolated, "If husband and wife merit, the Shekhina is with them, if not, fire consumes them" (Sotah 17a). The Hebrew word for man, ish, includes the letter yud, and the Hebrew word for woman, isha, has the letter hei, which when spelled together form the name of God, Yah.
Furthermore, by performing this sacred mitzva, the couple merits fulfilling the command to procreate. In doing so, the couple becomes partners with God in the conception of a new soul, as the Sages said, "There are three partners in [the creation of] a person; God, his father, and his mother" (Nidda 31a). This way they reveal the Holy name, comprised of four letters. Yud is revealed in the man, hei in the woman, and the next two letters are revealed by the son and daughter – vav in the boy and hei in the girl (Zohar Re’em, Part 3 34:1).
Therefore, in times of struggle and strife between husband and wife, God commands us to eradicate His name written in sanctity so that the two people can reconcile (Nedarim 66b). Removing the Holy Name written on the parchment allows the Holy Name to be manifest in the couple’s lives.
The virtue of marriage is of such magnitude that the Sages said, "A man without a woman is not a man" (Yevamot 63a). They also said, "Every man who does not have a wife remains without joy, without blessing without goodness, without Torah, without protection, without peace" (ibid. 62b). Obviously, a woman who does not have a husband lacks all these virtues as well. Because the mitzva of onah is the fundamental expression of marriage, all these virtues are directly correlated to the mitzva (see below 4:8).
Since the basis for the connection between husband and wife is crucial, the drive with it is exceptionally powerful. God gave people freedom to choose. When one guides this inclination towards good, to perform the mitzva of onah according to halakha, there is nothing better; however, when one directs this urge towards bad, there is nothing worse (see below 3:1–2).

2. Mitzva Directives
The mitzva of onah entails the unity of husband and wife, becoming one in extreme love and supreme happiness. He gives her pleasure to the best of his ability, until she climaxes, and connects with her in utter synthesis until he ejaculates inside her where she may conceive (see below 2:1), as it says, "He shall not diminish her food, her clothing, or her conjugal rights" (Shemot 21:10). Since man is limited in his physical capabilities, the mitzva of onah is determined according to each individual’s physical abilities and occupational demands. Therefore, tayalim, healthy people, for whom livelihood is attained easily, are obligated to fulfill the mitzva of onah every day. Regular workers are obligated twice a week, and people who work out of the city are required to fulfill this mitzva once a week. Additionally, when either spouse desires intimacy, the mitzva of onah stipulates that the other must provide (2:7-8).
This mitzva is the essence and foundation of marriage. One who denies it in order to cause his wife pain, violates the biblical prohibition, "He shall not diminish… her conjugal rights". If he unintentionally neglects to perform this mitzva, out of sheer carelessness, inadvertently hurting his wife, he violates a rabbinic prohibition. Some say, even if not deliberate, his sin is still a biblical transgression.
Moreover, by performing the mitzva of onah, husband and wife thoroughly fulfill the command, "Love your fellow Jew as yourself" (Vayikra 19:18). The key element of this mitzva is that each spouse ensures the other’s wellbeing to the best of his or her ability. The greatest pleasure that humans have in this world is connected to the mitzva of onah; therefore, a husband who deprives his wife of this pleasure that satisfies her is exploiting her, since no one but he may provide her that pleasure. Likewise, if a wife deprives her husband from this pleasure, she is exploiting him, since she is the only person in the world who can fill that void (see chapter 2, section 1).
Revocation of this mitzva is the principle grounds for divorce. If a husband claims to be repulsed by his wife, that he is not interested in being intimate with her and satisfying her in the times at which he is obligated, it is the wife’s privilege to file for divorce and she is entitled to receive the payments of her ketuba (marriage contract) as compensation. Even if the husband is willing to be intimate with her but says, "It is not my desire to be with her unless we are both clothed, he produces [the ketuba] and hands it to her," since he is unwilling to be intimate with her lovingly, without barriers. Similarly, when a woman does not agree to be intimate with her husband all these times, or is only willing on condition that she is dressed, it is her husband’s right to divorce her without paying her the money of her ketuba (Ketubot 48a, SA EH 76:13). A husband or wife who refuses to uphold the times for intimacy, is referred to in halakha as "rebellious," since he/she defies the sacred obligation accepted upon him/herself at the time of their wedding (Ketubot 63a; SA EH, Siman 77; also see below 2:7-8; 2:11-12; 2 n. 6).

3. The Significance of the word "Onah"
The Torah states, "He shall not diminish her sh’erah, k’sutah, v’onatah" (Shemot 21:10). Sh’erah refers to the two bodies touching flesh to flesh during marital relations, k’sutah, refers to the bedding and the bed used by the couple during intimacy, and onatah refers to the conjugal act itself (Rambam ibid; Ketubot 48a). Others have interpreted sh’erah as her food, k’sutah as her clothing, and onatah as the sexual relationship (Rashi on Shemot, Ketubot there). Clearly, all agree that the mitzva of onah is the essence of marriage since via its fulfillment the couple’s all-inclusive love is manifest.
Authorities disagree concerning the biblical obligation of marriage. Some maintain that the Torah command entails the mitzva of onah alone, while the rabbis were the ones to decree that the husband must also provide his wife with food and clothing, since without those things, the couple would not be able to truly feel pleasure during the mitzva of onah. Moreover, complete love involves the very profound feeling of responsibility for the wellbeing and safety of one’s spouse and a husband who truly loves his wife would ensure that she is cared for with food and clothing. If he does not provide for her, there is then no real love in the intimate acts between them. Others say that the Torah itself requires that the husband see to his wife’s food and clothing, since even though the mitzva of onah is the most intense expression of marriage, the complete bond between them must also include in its definition full responsibility for the wife’s food and clothing.
The word onah has three meanings. 1. Time or period, as the mitzva is fulfilled on occasion according to the husband’s physical strength and his occupational demands (Rambam and Ibn Ezra on Shemot 21:10). 2. Anguish (from the Hebrew word inui, torture), as opposed to responsiveness. When a man withdraws from his wife he torments her, as Lavan said to Yaakov Avinu, "May Hashem keep watch between me and you… if you cause my daughters pain…" The Sages interpret this to mean, "If you neglect to fulfill the mitzva of onah for them" (Bereishit 31:49-50). Therefore, on Yom Kippur, when we are commanded to afflict ourselves, we must refrain from sexual relations (Yoma 77b and Rosh, Ketubot 47b, Tosafot, and Ritva). Correspondingly, when a man rapes a woman, there is torture in that act, as it says, "And Shkhem the son of Ĥamor amor the Ĥivi, the ruler of the region, saw her, took her, slept with her, and violated her" (Bereishit 34:2). By contrast, the mitzva of onah is to experience unity in pleasure and happiness, in a manner in which each person reciprocates. Indeed, the word onah is similar to the word hei’anut, meaning reciprocation, receptiveness, and the exclusion of grief.
Both of these interpretations bear halakhic significance. 1. It is the man’s obligation to fulfill intimate relations with his wife at specific times, in accordance with his physical abilities and his occupation. 2. The intimate act must be mutually gratifying and enhance the passionate love husband and wife feel towards one another.
The Rishonim add a third explanation. 3. The word onah comes from the word maon, dwelling or home. Meaning, the husband must provide a place of residence for his wife (Menaĥem ben Saruk, as cited by Ibn Ezra and Ĥizkuni). This interpretation has profound significance for the mitzva of onah as well, for during the intimate act of relations, the husband returns "home." Additionally, it is written "Be happy, you and your house" (Devarim 14:26), meaning "…you and your wife". Rabbi Yossi said, "In all my days I never called my spouse ‘my wife’, rather, "my home" (Shabbat 118b).
The Sages refer to this mitzva as "derekh eretz," the way of the world, since every man, in his nature, should love his wife, yearn to be with her, long to satisfy her and provide her with as much pleasure as possible. Likewise, every woman by nature loves her husband and craves his advance so that she may satisfy him and give him as much pleasure as possible. This is the way Hashem created humans, with that naturally good desire. Only someone who is physically or mentally ill does not feel this passion. The mitzva comes to channel, heighten, and sanctify nature, not negate the natural emotions with which the mitzva is fulfilled (see below 2:4). The frequency at which this mitzva is fulfilled is also set according to the rules laid down by the way of the world, meaning, based on the lifestyle that the couple leads (as explained in chapter 2, sections 6-7).

4. The Mitzva of Onah is Independent of Procreation
By performing the mitzva of onah, one fulfills the additional mitzva of procreation, "pru ur’vu." This illustrates the vast virtue in the mitzva of onah, via which husband and wife merit participating with God in the creation of another human being. However, the mitzva of onah is not hinged upon the mitzva of pru ur’vu, and therefore the obligation of onah is still binding even at times when there is no possibility that intercourse will lead to conception, such as when a woman is already pregnant, nursing, has experienced menopause, or is infertile.
The Sages said that the more we fulfill the mitzva of onah happily, the more we merit children of good character traits (Eiruvin 100b; also see below chapter 2, section 5). In contrast, when relations between the couple are not performed devotedly and lovingly, husband and wife are likely to have children who are not virtuous, those of nine attributes (as explained in Nedarim 20b and below 2:13).
Similarly, it is written in Menorat HaMaor that "when husband and wife love each other and have intimate relations in a soothing manner, with the intent that honorable progeny emerge from them, God grants their wish and provides them with good children" (Ner 3, Klal 6, 2).
In addition, the mystics (kabbalists) write that from every single act of marital relations performed in sanctity and love, an abundance of life and blessing increases in the world. As the Shla"h writes, "From every act of sexual intercourse performed in holiness, a virtuous deed emerges. Even if the wife does not conceive… it is not a waste of the husband’s sperm; rather, a holy soul comes into existence… because from every act of intercourse a soul appears, and those souls went to other fetuses." Therefore, "Avraham would have sexual relations with Sarah even though she was barren, and God forbid it was for naught." The Zohar explains that from the all-encompassing intimate act, performed out of ardor and affection, between two righteous people, Avraham and Sarah, souls were created in the higher worlds which came down and were born afterwards as children to different families. When those children grew up, they became close to Avraham and Sarah who converted them to Judaism. About these children the Torah states, "and the souls they made in Ĥaran" (Bereishit 12:5) (Zohar, Part 3, 168:1).
Indeed, even when couples, who are not granted the ability to have children, are intimate in desire and tenderness, they take part in bringing children’s souls into this world. In order to understand this, it is necessary to clarify that the procedure of lowering souls to the world is complex on various levels and from many standpoints. Therefore, it is possible that several couples can contribute to the lowering of one soul to the world (see below 8:6).
It is worthy of mention that even after a couple has already given birth to their children, through their loving and joyful connection they continue to enhance life and blessing to all worlds, especially to those who are connected to the inner root of their souls. Indeed every match made in sanctity and passion, perpetuates additional enlightenment and favor to the souls of their children.
Additionally, it is important to add the law regarding a man who has fulfilled the mitzva of procreation whose wife has passed away. If he finds it difficult to marry a woman who can bear children, it is a mitzva for him to marry a woman who cannot have children, since living together as a couple makes one’s life complete. He thereby fulfills the biblical commandment of onah and prevents sinful thoughts (Yevamot 71b; see below chapter 4, section 8).

5. Revelation of Unity
In order to more fully understand the sanctity of this mitzva, it is important to recognize that God wished to grant merit to human beings. He, therefore, created the world incomplete, so that people could repair the losses and make the world beneficial and blissful. Their delight would be all-encompassing, and they would thereby share with God in the creation of all the good in the world. Separation is the most acute inadequacy that exists in creation. God, Who is one, made all creations. However, because He concealed His light, His creations became detached from Him, and eventually became independent of each other as well, each one looking after itself. From these circumstances stem all quarrels, disagreements, conflicts, and wars. For this reason this world is called "World of Separation" and "World of Deception," for we do not recognize in it the core of unity, and all evils in the world originate from that. Therefore, the Jewish people’s fundamental belief is the faith in oneness, a belief in a single God.
This is also the reason why the mitzva to inhabit the land of Israel, is so important, for it links heaven and earth. The most fundamental schism exists between the heavens and the earth, as evident in the discord between spiritual and material, vision and reality, Creator and creation. By commanding us to inhabit the land of Israel, God discloses to us that He reigns over heaven and earth, and all earthly matters are connected to holiness. Therefore, the Sages said, "Anyone who lives in Israel is like one who has a God, and anyone who resides outside of Israel is similar to one without a God… and it is as if he practices idolatry" (Ketubot 110b) (see below chapter 3, section 15).
The importance of unity also serves as the basis for the extraordinary significance of the command to "Love your fellow Jew as yourself" (Vayikra 19:18), about which R. Akiva says, is "an invaluable Torah teaching" (Sifra ad loc).
Now, we are able to grasp the enormous virtue in the mitzva of intimacy between husband and wife. Through intimate relations, the mitzva "Love your fellow Jew like yourself" is fulfilled in the most comprehensive manner. Marital intimacy demonstrates the most supreme synergy since it thoroughly unites two individual, distinct people. This harmony is twofold; it is the fusion of husband and wife and the synthesis of body and soul. On numerous occasions a conflict arises between one’s soul and one’s body. The soul longs for good and the body is drawn towards bad; the soul desires eternity and the body focuses on the transitory present. Yet, during the performance of this mitzva, the soul and the body are conjoined, and even the evil inclination is transformed to good. Via the fulfillment of this command, the lofty notion of loyalty and oneness connects with the utmost materialistic pleasure. The ethical principle of absolute dedication merges with the most cosmic delight (see Zohar part 1, 49:1; part 3, 81, 1-2; Bereishit Raba 9:7, below 3:13; Maharal Gevurot 5, chapter 43).

6. The Virtue of the Bond between Husband and Wife
This connection and unity is so wondrous that it is used as an allegory for the supreme connection between God and the nation of Israel, as it is written "Like a groom rejoices over his bride, God will rejoice over you" (Yeshayahu 62:5). Rabbi Akiva said, "No other day was as precious as the day Israel was given Shir Hashirim (the Song of Songs), for all of the Writings are holy, but Shir Hashirim is the Holy of Holies" (Tanĥuma Tetzaveh 5). Indeed, the love between a husband and wife is so exalted and sublime that there is similarity and manifestation in the connection between God and His nation. Moreover, the bond between God and His people perpetuates the connection between the couple who is intimate with each other in sanctity and love, (3:15), which, in turn, sustains the bond between the Creator and His world, and brings life, blessing, and peace to everything created.
Similarly, the keruvim (cherubim) placed in the Holy of Holies on the Holy Ark were the shape of a woman and man fulfilling the mitzva of onah. The Sages state, "When Israel would ascend to the Temple, they would roll back the curtain and show them the keruvim who were hugging in an intimate pose and they would say to them, ‘See, your love for God is like the love of a man and a woman’" (Yoma 54a). Upon conclusion of the Jewish people’s divine service, the keruvim would separate from one another and face the House (BB 99a).
Since the essence of marriage is sacred and transcendent, Yom Kippur is one of the two festivals in which people would actively occupy themselves with matchmaking (Mishna Ta’anit 4:8). In a wedding there is a revelation of unity which is expressed by the all-inclusive existence of husband and wife and it is a mitzva to express that idea in absolute elation. The Sages said, "Anyone who makes the groom and bride happy merits Torah and is considered as if he brought a Todah offering and as if he built up one of the Jerusalem’s ruins" (Berakhot 6b) (see Maharal, Tiferet Yisrael 30).
Likewise, after the nation of Israel arrived at the pinnacle of the prophecy’s realization, when King Shlomo was able to stabilize the Kingdom of Israel and build the Temple, he arranged a grand holiday for all of Israel lasting seven days, and then seven days more. "On the eighth day, he sent the people off, and they blessed the king; they returned to their tents, joyous and good-hearted, over all the goodness that Hashem had shown his servant David and His people Israel" (Melakhim I 8:66). The Sages interpret (MK 9a), "‘And they returned to their tents’ – they returned to find their wives in a state of purity, ‘joyous’ – they delighted in the radiance of the Divine Presence, ‘and good hearted’ – each and every wife conceived a baby boy, ‘over all the good’ – a Heavenly voice emerged and said to them, ‘All of you are prepared for life in the World to Come.’" In other words, just like erecting the Temple in Jerusalem causes Hashem to rejoice over his people like a husband over his wife, so the communal sanctity extended to each individual house in Israel, and the husbands returned home to find their wives in a state of purity, ready to fulfill the mitzva of onah gladly.
We also find that after Israel received the Torah, Hashem commanded Moshe, "Go tell them, ‘Return to your tents’" (Devarim 5:27). The Sages explain, "Return in order to fulfill the mitzva of simkhat onah, the joy of intimacy" (AZ 5a). One who does not comprehend the value of the mitzva might think that after the celestial experience receiving the Torah, it is inappropriate to occupy oneself with such matters. However, the divine instruction was the opposite, "Return to fulfill the joy of onah!" Quite the contrary; precisely from the sanctity revealed in receiving the Torah, we must return and fulfill the mitzva of onah delightedly. Indeed these two occasions are connected. The receiving of the Torah was a type of wedding between God and Israel, as the Sages stated in the Mishna, "‘On the day of His wedding’ is Matan Torah and ‘On the day of the happiness in His heart’ is the building of the Temple" (Ta’anit 26:2). This grand wedding spread love and happiness to every single Jewish family of Israel.
Such a thought is difficult to fathom for many scholars from other religions, since they believe that the pleasures of this world belong to materialism and sin and are separate from sacred spiritual matters. However, the Jewish nation’s unique task is to disclose the belief in oneness, that God is the ruler of the heaven and the earth. When this is accomplished properly, the divine essence is revealed, as the Torah states, "Who has counted the dust of Yaakov or numbered a quarter of Israel?" (Bamidbar 23:10). The Sages said, "This teaches that God sits and counts Israel’s acts of intercourse awaiting the arrival of the drop from which a righteous person will be created. And it is because of this matter that the eye of the wicked Bil’am was blinded. Bil’am said, ‘He Who is pure and holy and Whose servants are pure and holy should gaze at such a thing?! Immediately, he lost vision in one eye" (Nidda 31a).

7. Simkhat Onah, the Joy of Onah
Under normal circumstances, a person fends for himself, for were he not to tend to his own needs, who would care for him? This reality can be blurred by superficial friendships and amusement, but in the moment of truth, when the one recognizes his loneliness, he feels tremendous sorrow. This is the existential pain which accompanies a person throughout his life, the death which ushers him while he is still alive. The more lucid he is, the greater his grief. Solitude steers a person to egoism, to care only for himself, leading him to then drain himself of values. He is left void of purpose to his life, and loneliness prevails.
The solution to this can be found in the obligation to "Love your fellow Jew as yourself." When people understand that there is sacred value to their friendships, they become more honorable, moral people. They truly connect to one another and abate the pain of their loneliness. We have learned that the mitzva "Love your fellow Jew like yourself" can be fulfilled completely between husband and wife, thereby restoring those individuals entirely. With genuine affection, one succeeds in breaking through his selfish limitations, loving his spouse and tending to her needs, no less than he loves and cares for himself.
The most obvious expression of this love exists in the mitzva of onah, in which from the abundance of affection and pleasure, the couple’s boundaries are breached. The husband advances towards his wife and the wife towards her husband, and they are redeemed from their solitude and unite. Then, they are truly content; they feel unparalleled euphoria, and the pulse of life beats within them, linking them to all worldly existence and rising towards life’s source.
Hence, the name of the mitzva is Simkhat Onah, the joy of onah (Pesaĥim 72b; AZ 5a). In this mitzva there is divine revelation, as the Maharal writes, "Do not say that this connection is a corporeal act, like with other animals, for this is not true. The woman and man were given the power to connect from God… ‘Because His name is part of them, the name Yah...’ (Sotah 17a) meaning that God brings this couple together and unites them, therefore His name dwells within them" (Be’er HaGola 5:4).
This mitzva is a like a fraction of the World to Come, a certain beam of light from elevated and transformed places towards this world of darkness, in which screens and barriers obstruct the light, so much so that the Sages state it resembles night (Ĥagiga 12b). All mitzvot should be cause for increased joy, for they enable people to connect to the source of life and allow them the privilege to participate in adding spirit to the world. However, because of the barriers and screens that conceal the divine light and energy, we are almost unaware of the power in the mitzvot. We feel satisfaction for doing the right thing, but we do not merit true tangible pleasure from within the heart of the mitzva itself. That is the meaning of the Sages words, "This world is like a corridor before the World to Come. Prepare yourself in the corridor so that you may enter the palace" (Avot 4:16). For the World to Come is the main place we receive reward. However, in the magical mitzva of onah, people actually experience the wondrous pleasures intended in the fulfillment of the mitzva, and that is why it resembles the next world (Shabbat, too, is similar to the World to Come). Therefore, this mitzva is a gateway through which one can merit seeing his lot in the next world during his lifetime, since by properly fulfilling this mitzva he may also be granted pleasures in other mitzvoth, an experience that is a fraction of the World to Come (see Zohar, part 2, 259:1).
However, those who sin in matters of prostitution, sexual immorality, or family impurity (niddah) use this passion for bad. Instead of breaking through the egoistic barriers, creating souls, and connecting to God via this mitzva, they infringe upon the good moral framework with their sins and are therefore labeled promiscuous (prutzim). In that way they forsake their place in this world, for they do not merit real love, and lose their place in the World to Come since they do not connect to eternal, true life, and instead, inherit Gehenom.

8. In the Merit of this Mitzva They Were Redeemed from Egypt
When our ancestors were slaves, the Egyptians wanted to prevent the men from reproducing in order to eradicate the Jewish people from this world. For that reason they oppressed Jewish males with crushing laborious servitude from daybreak until the stars emerged and decreed a law prohibiting them from returning home to ensure that they slept in the fields. It was then that the men might possibly have lost their faith. They could imagine their wives in despair, clinging to their Egyptian masters. How might a husband meet his wife’s gaze, when he is supposed to shelter her, to protect her from the taskmasters, harassers who plot against her, to provide livelihood and honor, to be an example to their children, and instead, he is a shamed servant, susceptible to trampling and humiliation at the feet of his master? So as not to endure additional degradation, he prefers not to attempt to approach his wife. He stifles within him his will to live. He doesn’t even want children, because he cannot grant them a reasonable future. When his wife draws near, he distances himself because he fears that soon she will want to leave him anyway. Most women in those circumstances would feel slighted and would prefer to attach themselves as second wives to Egyptian lords. That is how the nation could have been annihilated.
The Sages state, "In the merit of the righteous women of that generation, Israel was redeemed from Egypt. When the women went to draw water, God summoned small fish to their pails and they would draw half water and half fish. They would walk to their husbands in the fields with two jugs. They would bathe their husbands and massage them, give them to eat and drink, and copulate between the borders of the fields…"(Sotah 11b). It is as if every woman said to her husband, ‘Although you are a contemptuous slave in the eyes of the Egyptians, to me you are dear and important. Just as I would be thrilled upon your return home from a respected job, I am ecstatic to be greeting you now. I have come to the field to wash your weary feet from work, and to caress your body, bruised from beatings, because you are my husband, my love.’ "While eating and drinking, the women would hold up mirrors and gaze into the mirrors with their husbands, each playfully enticing their counterpart by saying they are more attractive than the other, thereby arousing themselves for passionate intimacy. They would have intercourse and God would help them conceive immediately… ‘And the Jews were fruitful, abounded, increased, and intensified, very very, much…’ all this proliferation due to those mirrors" (Tanĥuma, Pekudei 9). "And since they were pregnant, they went home. And when it was time for them to give birth, they went to give birth in the fields…" (Sotah 11b).
After the Jewish people had already escaped from Egypt, received the Torah, and were commanded to erect a tabernacle, all of Israel donated gold, silver, copper, luxurious fabrics and precious gems. The same women who gave birth in the fields said, ‘We don’t have anything to donate towards the building of the tabernacle.’ They left only to return carrying the same mirrors used to beautify themselves. Although they were very precious to them, they offered to donate them out of their intense love for God. Moshe was disgusted since the mirrors were used for the evil inclination. Some say that he even became enraged, sarcastically commenting to those in his vicinity, "The appropriate response would be to take sticks and break their legs for daring to bring these mirrors to holy service." God responded to Moshe, "You ridicule these mirrors?! These mirrors gave rise to the multitudes in Egypt! Accept them, because these are my most favorite donation of all. Take them and use them to make the copper sink and its handle, with which the priests will sanctify themselves for sacred worship (Tanĥuma, Pekudei 9; Rashi Shemot 38:8).
From this we learn something incredible. There is nothing more pure and sacred than this unconditional love which brings forth life to the world. Therefore, specifically from those mirrors they constructed the sink that the priests used to purify and sanctify themselves in preparation for Temple service.